Enough. Memories & Snow.

It's snowing.

It's snowing, again, in Helena, Montana.  Though this is my fourth or fifth snow since I've lived here, I can't help but stare out the window this Saturday morning and watch it fall.

Fall, accumulate, fall some more.

It's great to watch the snow fall; first, as little specs of frozen water, and  - soon -  these large flakes start falling.  It's still magical to me - in my 38th year of continued wonder - snow is still magical.

It dawned on me, as I sat by the window, that I did the very same thing - watched the snow fall - 18 years, ten months, and twenty-nine days ago.  I also watched the two loves of my life play in the snow, build a snowman, and have a snowball fight.

Memory is a funny thing.  I've mentioned this before, and consider it true, that our memories are a kaleidoscope of broken remembered, recalled, and real.  Sometimes we color recollection with undue bitterness - other times imaginary happiness -  but this morning's memory was an equal balance, a moment when I was just simply content.

I'll come back to that word in a bit - content.

January 1, 1996 - it snowed in Abilene, Texas.  I was close to seven months pregnant, sitting on the couch in the living room, watching my husband and daughter playing in the unexpected New Year's Day snow.  Hearing both of their laughter, her squeels of joy, his patient teaching - I held my hand on my tummy and let the moment consume me.   Meeting and knowing that now - without entry of future or past... I was truly content.

It has taken me a long time to learn that contentment is truly of the Divine.  We are often a society of more, of want, of continued desire.  Contentment is enough.  It's the cup just warm, a soup just seasoned, a touch just right.

Enough is living in the now.   No expectations - only the recognition of enough.

I found myself smiling this morning - wrapped in my memory and thankful for that opportunity.

Life has changed.  My goodness - a son born and grown, a daughter realizing her own wonder and life - letting go of a first love - to allow for the opportunity of the right love.

I am - today - amazingly content.  The snow is still falling, my coffee is wonderful - this now is just enough.

Much love -

Simone