Saturday, February 24, 2018

Morning Affirmations - Everyday Moments At Their Best

Today was a God day - everywhere I looked was the Divine and I was in awe - and non-stop smiles.

Slept fitfully, woke up at 2 a.m. and didn't really return to slumberland.

Up and out before 8:30 a.m. - Starbucks.

"Good morning!  Quad grande, skinny, soy, caramel macchiato, please."
A smiling response from the speaker, "You haven't been in for awhile! $6.85 - see you at the window."
The window barriesta peeked out the window and gave me a wave. 
Great way to start a heart happy day.

Next - post office - closing chapters and shipping items to Texas. Mind you, I was at the post office yesterday and met a lovely clerk who had lost her voice but helped me pick out some snow themed stamps.  In the midst of our conversation yesterday, we both realized we were born in Odessa, Texas.  (I'm still smiling about this.)  Today, I walk up to the counter and she - Dede -  walks me through the best option for shipping and says - "You want stamps today?"  ... she had a happy grin...
"Nope - you helped me pick out great stamps yesterday."  She shook with a laugh and said, "I remember!  You take care."

Next up - Natural Grocers.  Needed small, single serving bone broth servings, pork skins, jalapenos and avocados.  Checking out and I began bagging my items - the young man - early 20s - likely not even 21 -  Lawrence - was very appreciative of my bagging while he rung me up.  "Thank you," he said. "Often people stand there and don't help." 
Me, "Happy to help.  Thanks for being here today."
Him, "I worked construction for awhile - and what I learned was you should never watch anyone struggling."
Me.
(me.)
Woah.  That was crazy great deep from this young guy.
"Thank you - you're right - wow - that's true for so much in life."
He put his hands together at his chest and gave me the most beautiful namaste bow.

In the middle of these errands I was talking to a friend in Missouri.  He said, "If you're going to get new sneakers, go to a place where they can fit you and take into account your re-built ankle and recently broken (2 years) other ankle.  Don't go to a canned chain." 
BUT - I was right by a canned chain.  I will just go look - I need some sneakers - like 3 years late for good sneakers.
Walked in - a very tall young man approached me, "How can I help you today?"  Folks, my usual canned response is to say, "just looking... thank you!" ... but I took a chance and said, "Hired a trainer, I have a rebuilt ankle and broke the other ankle a few years ago. Desperately need new shoes."
....
He said, "My mom broke both ankles - I know exactly what you need."  Throughout my shoe walking/buying experience he checked on me - he offered more recommendations and then came back with some inserts that he recommended to decrease the "impact" of my future efforts. Checking out - I complimented him and told him of my friend's reservations, he replied, "Our store has a bad rap for not caring - but I've been a runner for 18 years and I have worked very hard to know what shoes are best for people who need my input."
Dude.  You rock.  Thanks Troy.  You made my shoe buying experience phenomenal.

Next, a local craft shop to pick up quilting needles.  I keep losing, breaking or bending them.  If you go and get quilting needles you have to cruise by the fabric.  It's a problem now.  I recognize it.  Fabric is my new crafting crack.  Standing there admiring the different fabrics, I said to a woman next to me, "I don't need one bit of fabric - yet here I stand."  That one sentence turned into a beautiful story of a woman who has been fighting cancer for 7 years, has been quilting for 11 years, and who could do nothing but encourage my future quilting efforts, sing praises about the company I work for (and am passionate about) and she told me a most amazing story of her supportive husband, fantastic quilting retreats and we realized we shared a friend in common.  Debbie - thank you for sharing your story and beautiful spirit.  Your hugs were on point for my amazing morning.

Last stop - hold onto yourself - y'all know I'm not a fan of fast-food - but... I love me some Taco Bell.  Waited in a long line - ordered 2 crispy tacos - got to the window and looked behind me.  "Can I pay for the 2 people behind me who have already ordered?"  The woman at the drive-thru grinned a conspirtal grin at me, "you so can," she responded.

All of this was before noon and in that small time period I was renewed - and felt incredibly blessed.

Montana - just when I think I can't do this alone anymore - you breathe the best life into me.

Happy Saturday.  Really. 

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Tuesday, February 20, 2018

Pie. Best Memories.

Tonight I caught up with a friend who spent YEARS experiencing the younger me - a young wife, a young mom, a young Simone.

Cathy and I experienced young motherhood and young marriage together.  Ups and downs, pregnancies, marriage - when my children's father and I separated I recall Cathy looking at me saying, "You were the couple who was going to make it through everything."  ... Oh, the truth to that for all aspects of life.

Our call tonight made my heart bubble over - memories - memories and joy...

We reflected on our parenting history, "how do you like 'them apples," and then....

Chocolate Pie.

We both laughed and she said, "Daniel always hated you for that."

I laughed harder.

Many moons ago - my house was the home where people gathered.  I was raised to be a hostess and always made dinner and desserts for folks who visited us every Sunday. My Nana would be so proud...

Friday night (a few decades ago) our group found ourselves bowling - snide comments were made about my inability to bowl and I said, "Kiss my ar@#$" ....

My brother-in-law, at the time, was cheeky and asked - "which coast do we start on?"

... Daniel, Chris and Roy laughed so hard... it was so funny....

Okay - alright -

Sunday, everyone was over for dinner and gaming activities - I made dinner, and dessert - not unusual - I served up individual plates - not unusual - individual desserts - they were pleased... folks this was not unusual.  I love cooking for people - they typically loved my cooking for them...

until this night...

We had a hotdog bar - all the trimmings - sides - and homemade individual chocolate cream pies.  I love making pies.  I love chocolate pies - but three of these pies... Chris, Daniel and Roy's.

Those pies - those pies were special.

Each had a full-box of chocolate ex-lax - melted and delicately balanced.   Right after they all enjoyed my cooking I tossed the box to the three guys and said, "hope you enjoy yourself as you're sitting on your coast..."

Tonight Cathy and I chuckled over my mischievous cooking habit - mostly we reminisced over past love lost and future possibility.

I am so proud of her.  I'm proud of the mother she is and the wife and mother that we both strived to be.

May your memories with old friends be blessed - and may my cooking habits (2 decades ago) be forgiven.

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Tuesday, January 2, 2018

Wash Me Of You

Sometimes I want to wash you from my mind.
Scrub every corner and memory and sigh.
With it remove memories of first kiss, first touch, first laugh.
The way you throw your head back when you laugh - that too.
Each caress, each rush to touch and the feel of you inside me.
The smell of you - the way you taste under my lips. 
The way you respond to my tongue tracing my needs.
And your tongue, your mouth right and wrong and real.
Demanding and giving and wanting- how can one mouth be so much?
Black magic so strong that I won't recall the first shock of...
"I love him."
Spells and incantations that will replace the connection and communication.
Ritual and rites that will bleed me of you - whatever the cost.
Willing to bind myself- willing to lie to myself- willing to be other than myself...
Wash me of you.

Sunday, December 17, 2017

2017 - Closing Out the Books

2017 - It's been a year...

Spent time with friends - those who traveled near, are near and those I traveled to.
Spent too much time at work.
Watched my oldest child graduate from college.
Received acceptance and forgiveness from my youngest.
Traveled to cities and states I'd never been before.
My hair was colored denim blue, white, red, dark brown, and everything in between.
Started a new job filled with challenges.
Finalized a divorce from a marriage filled with challenges.
Took a lot of photos from the windows at work.
Took many photos from the windows of life.
Was invited to spend holidays with friends.

People highlights: my children, Athena and Madelyn visiting me in Montana, Antony and Melanie visiting me in Montana, Christy, meeting Shawn, hiring Gaylene, Snezhi, Lance and Jake, visiting Kim and Nic, Chad and Finnegan, Bob, Sean, Kelli, Candice, Shannon, Simone.

Places: Montana. Montana. Montana. Chicago in April, Yellowstone River, Yellowstone National Park, Paradise Valley, Eureka Montana, Bowman Lake Montana, Glacier National Park, Hidden Lake, Dickey Lake.  Kentucky, Ohio, Missouri, Illinois, Indiana. Spokane Washington.  Some amazing AirBnBs. Forest Park. Simpsonville (it's really a place).

Events: Dating. Chicago Art Museum. Garth Brooks. Rafting the Yellowstone River.  Paddleboarding the Yellowstone River.  Paddleboarding Dickey Lake, Bowman Lake and Kintla Lake. Broken heart. Kind notes and gifts from local friends. Self doubt. Self discovery. Self evaluation. (these all just feel like events to me)  Traveling Montana with Network - the people I call friends.  Seeing Mermaids at the Sip-n-Dip. Sky Bridge in Kentucky.  Mt. Helena. Glamping.  Barns. Firsts.

2017 has taught me to be humble.

I am not good at everything.  I fail a lot.  I am not the best (or worst) but - I have a lot to learn.
Listen more.  Listen. (don't try to solve or respond - just listen)
Trust people.
Read the Bible. Read Buddhist teachings and practice paths.
Cast a spell.  Cast two.
Spend a moderate amount of time being selfish with yourself.  It's completely okay.
Rid yourself of people who are toxic or ready to place blame.  Enough.  Enough blame.
Sit in the rain - on the hood of your jeep - and laugh.  It's so f***** good.
Toss clothes that don't fit.  Accept a bra measuring when recommended.
Be fierce.  When challenged and you're right - do not back down.  Be the storm. Be the ship.
Test your toes in waters that scare the hell out of you.
It's okay to be scared.  It's okay.
Accept help.  Be wounded when you have to. Suck it up.  Life is too short to brood or be frozen.
Get angry. Get happy.  Find peace.
That's okay too.

2017 is almost in the reviewmirror - and I'm ready for the final pages and to greet what is before me.

Be fierce and ready.  Be you and real.  Be faulted.

It's all pretty beautiful.

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Happy New Year Beautiful People.