Fierce Teddy Roosevelt... and other craziness

The first time I heard "fierce" used as a verb was from Tyra Banks.

You read that right.  Tyra Banks.   I can't even believe I'm typing it... but "fierce" was such a fiery word of action.  Less descriptive - completely forward motion.

These past weeks, I've felt fierce.  In a way that is "used to describe an action, state, or occurrence, and forming the main part of the predicate of a sentence"

Fierce.  Action.

Work has required me to grab the lion by the tail and make it perform.  My personal life has required me to hold on with both hands and demand access to the genuine me.

Completely fierce.

Ever one to notice points of change in people, I've had the following life observations:

• Nothing brings out the worst in people than death and divorce.
• A woman going through a life transition changes her hair cut or color.
• People will always show you who they are.
• Those who support you, even in moments of complete uncertainty, are the jewels of life.
• Teddy Roosevelt either had some good writers or a brilliant mind:
• “It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed.”
• “The only man who never makes mistakes is the man who never does anything.” 
• “In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing. The worst thing you can do is nothing.” 
• “Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat.” 

Dear Teddy - you're a bad@ss.

I'm embracing a world of action.  Real and right action.

Action includes growing pains.  

I can only encourage this real point, "Grow, baby, grow."

and to quote Tyra "be fierce" in the process of your growth.

... 2017 is going to be awesome.  I give it no other possibility.

You go be you.  

Let me give you a direction... you are fierce and mighty.

Much love from this lioness who is ready to create, foster and succeed.

- Simone 

Regina Spektor

Fidelity https://g.co/kgs/2j9tHX

The Process of Breathing

...

dot. dot. dot.

I am ... supposed to tell you I'm fine.

I'm great.

I'm a survivor.  I'm a fighter.

... Folks - real - I'm not always okay.  I am filled with the resonance of doubt and a history that would boggle most.  I require myself to keep going.

To keep breathing and to not give up.

Simone - (psst)... you cannot give up.  You will strive for more.  Some days - or weeks - or months - or years - are less than favorable.

More so - I realize I live in a world lately that I can't be me... 100% Simone - and that is less than favorable... because, really, I'm quirky...  I'm ... a combination of trying hard and giving hard....

I'm tired.

This is not a work thing - because I have the faith of mountains of each person who crosses my path...

Dude... seriously.... with this faith... you should fly....

This is a combination of many paths... including my own.

But sometimes the closest edge is burned.

Sometimes the supernova is found to be burned out.

Sometimes.... you're simply yourself.   You're a Simone.  You're faulted.  You're favored.  You're fucked.  ( yes, I just typed that...)

The best points of my life are the aspects where I participated ... I must figure out the path that brings me back to me and this.

Breathe.

Sometimes Perfectly Timed

https://youtu.be/IkxLTZm-6OE

Word Porn - Baby I'm A Fool

Gold To Me

Bravado.
It is not becoming.
Sometimes, though, a little bravado is a lot needed when one is required to be selfless.
Or, at least, that is the thinking of this writer, tonight - on a night where I wanted to be less bravado - and more selfish.
Reflecting upon this - it's okay to wound quietly.  It's okay to project the swagger necessary for a bigger and better goal.
It's okay.
Because that's really the only option.
To be okay.
And right is right. And heart is heart. 

Kintsugi (金継ぎ^?, きんつぎ, "golden joinery"), also known as Kintsukuroi (金繕い^?, きんつくろい, "golden repair"),^[1] is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with lacquer dusted or mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum, a method similar to the maki-e technique.^[2][3][4] As a philosophy, it treats breakage and repair as part of the history of an object, rather than something to disguise.

And just like that Ben Harper enters the blog singing my soul swaying song - "Gold to Me"...

Tonight I restored the bravado wall - only to fill the broken and fractured pieces of my heart with gold.
You look like gold to me
You make me wanna sing
Like the rays down from the sun
And I'm not too blind to see
You look like gold
With all the joy you bring
You look like gold
When a new day has just begun
You look like gold

Go forth and be.  Just fill the spots that are cracked and make yourself stronger.

Blessed.

- Simone

"10 Years From Now" - 6 Years Later.

Reading old blogs - seeing photos I posted sometime ago - ... I ran across this old blog:

http://sim1says.blogspot.com/2010/10/in-ten-years.html

In October 2010, I wrote my "ten-year" blog.  Let's cover the highlights:

• In 2020, I will be mom (and step-mom) to 28, 27, 25, and 24 year old children who will not so much be children anymore.  I'll be 44.

• I'm quite sure I will have traveled east.  I seem to travel west a lot.  I will (hopefully) have finished my book and I will spend much debate on whether anyone will read it. 

•  I will have that convertible.

• I may - maybe - might - be a grandma by then and I have decided that I don't want to be called "Grandma" or "Memaw" or "Nana" - I want to be "Bootsie."  Yes - you read that right and if it makes you giggle or 'pshaw' just a little then you get the point.  I like it.  "Bootsie"

• I am quite sure that I will have traveled to Germany to see my German Cookie and her parents.  Maybe I'll have learned a little bit more German - maybe not. 

• I will not give one flying flip about the dust.

• I will paint more.  

• I'll listen to all of the music that I want, not worrying that someone asks to change the song AND I will attend many more a concert.

It's day one of 2017.  I am 40.  2016 brought me opportunities beyond anything I ever imagined possible.  Standing in front of real (and many) Klimt creations.  Feeling the ache of so many Van Goghs.  Embracing the Alster with sparkles in my eyes - they were tears, but the very best kind.

I'm amazed at the kids - all of them.  They are the biggest reminder of humility and humanity.  They're all just so good.  I'm so proud of them.

I still haven't made it to the Eastern US (did go to Chicago though - the year that they became World Series Champs) - but I sure did make it over the pond to beautiful parts of Europe.  I'll work on the Eastern part of the US over the next four years.

I have a jeep (that counts as a convertible in the summer) - that I drive in National Parks, over mountain passes and through tall trees that embrace me with presence.

THANK YOU, MEREDITH, CHRISTOPHER, AMANDA, ROB and MELANIE for not making me a grandma before I was 40.  But I still like the idea of "Bootsie"

I have traveled to Germany - I have fostered every bit of love possible for this family that never knew we were supposed to be family until a fateful August 2007 day.  I'm going back this year to see Melanie married... and my soul smiles.  (and I know A LITTLE more German)

I don't care about the dust.  I'd rather spend my time learning, reading, walking the lanes of beautiful Helena, Montana... dust is character.

I do paint more - I need to paint more still.  I LISTEN TO ALL THE MUSIC THAT MY HEART DESIRES!  I dance wildly when no one is looking - and sometimes they are looking... and I really don't care if they are....

.... I haven't worked on my "book" since 2010.  For some reason, I just felt like I didn't need to tell the story anymore.  I want to live it.

Ever one to try to sum up the whole - 2017 is my continued effort to foster my simple goal... "... she lived..."

There's no resolution.

Just life.

My wish for you is every moment lived, every possibility to love - and don't forget to pepper your life with every opportunity to create random acts of kindness.  You will change this world.  (It's true.  I promise.)

Much love.
- Simone