Pride Goeth...

Pride.

It comes in so many forms.

(Shiny object - it's rain snowing outside... and it's April - Texas folks, don't be jealous...)

back on topic...

Pride.

I started this blog in 2008 and it was initially about random acts of kindness - if you know anything about me, you know such acts - in my belief - make the world go round.  There is something amazing about a kind word, a cup of coffee, a smile, holding the door for someone, making eye-contact, listening... REALLY listening to someone.  It can change lives - I would be so bold to say it does change lives.

Without wanting to admit this fault - I am, exceedingly prideful. 

(Seriously - the snow is coming down hardcore right now...)

... remain on topic...

Things that I do not want to do:

• Ask for help
• Admit I'm hurt
• Show my pain
• Expose vulnerabilities
• Feel powerless
• Cry - I hate crying
• Let people in too deep
• Feel or portray a negative point of view
• ... be anything other than the light I want my heart to show

(Holy BUCKETS!  This weather is giving me a serious kick!)

Today - my friend, Desa - without realizing it - called me out on my pride.  My heart has been kinda heavy - and I haven't conveyed much of it to anyone.  Directing my ship and purpose to 'North'... I just keep going.  Don't stop.  Don't break the shield of "everything is fine" - "I'm fine" - "Nothing to see here... move along...."

It's okay to say - "hey, my heart is heavy."  

It's okay to say - "the me that you're expecting is currently figuring out what 'me' is..."

It's okay to say - "woah - slow your roll - I'm human..."

I'm prideful.  

Let's review a few good quotes... (I love good quotes...)

• "Anger is the enemy of non-violence and pride is a monster that swallows it up." - Mahatma Gandhi  (Smart dude Gandhi) 
• "I would always rather be happy than dignified." Charlotte Bronte  (Lady knew her stuff.)
• "We are rarely proud when we are alone."  Voltaire  (Clearing throat)

(Did I mention the awesome snow that most folks in Montana are cursing?)

Truth be told, pride is an area I need to work on.

I need to learn to say "help" and be okay with it...

... and with friends like beautiful Desa - I can....

Go forth and be awesome.  And flawed.  And human.

And F-ing Beautiful.

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